Can decluttering be a learning moment or is it just a meltdown waiting to happen?
With the summer holidays approaching, many parents wonder whether to declutter while the children are home or wait until they’re not.
In this blog, we’re focussing on decluttering with children, specifically their things: toys, books, hobby equipment and clothes. You don’t have to tackle all of these areas at once. Choose the right time for each category – clothes before a new school year, change of season or after a growth spurt, and toys before birthdays and Christmas (“out with the old, in with the new”).
Pros of Decluttering with Children
Teaching them life skills
Learning to declutter and organise your belongings is a way of learning how to take responsibility and helps develop decision-making skills. They learn to choose what’s important to them and understand the results of deciding to let things go.
Encourages gratitude
When we see all our belongings, or one category of items, for example toys, we can be grateful we have so much. It can also encourage us to donate what we don’t need to others who may be less fortunate than ourselves. Especially in a world where sustainability is becoming increasingly important, as is to recycle and reuse, rather than bin.
Promotes independence
Learning to declutter our belongings helps us take ownership of our things and space. We want our children to eventually grow up capable of managing their own homes – without us tidying up after them!
Creates family bonding moments
Decluttering and organising can be made fun with music, games or rewards. The more fun it is, the more likely they’ll be happy to do it again and let’s face it with the speed children grow out of clothes and toys this is an event that ideally happens several times a year. Some of the funniest times we’ve had is the children trying to get into items of clothes are too small for them, cue everyone in fits of giggles.
Opportunity to role-model letting go
Decluttering is easier if you’ve some accountability, so when your children see you declutter your own things, they learn by example. This will not only encourage them, but you too!
Reinforces routines and systems
A decluttered toy room/area is easier to tidy and maintain with the children involved. So get them involved so they know where to put items and encourage a evening tidy up session each night.
When It’s Best to Declutter Without Them?
- If time is short
- If the child is especially anxious or attached to things
- When major decisions are being made and have an associated time constraint (e.g. downsizing, moving)
- To do a “first pass” before involving them in a second round
Cons of Decluttering with Children
Takes longer
It will inevitably be a longer task with children involved, get ready for negotiating to what stays and goes.
Meltdowns and resistance
Children haven’t yet developed emotionally so they can’t explain their feelings especially when feeling possessive or sentimental over a toy or item. This may be a good time to learn a breathing technique to stay calm.
They may ‘rescue’ discarded items
This could be an immediate event, where every item is their favourite and they can’t live without it. Or it could be an unattended charity bag, which half of the contents has found its way back into the house. Be sure to have an exit strategy for unwanted items (not the loft!)
Inconsistent energy or attention
Let’s be honest, even adults struggle with decluttering, so don’t expect your children to stick with you to the end. You will most likely be finishing this solo.
Creates more mess before it gets better
The best way to declutter and organise is to categorise first, which means spreading things out. Which can look overwhelming. Resist the urge to give up – it’s worth it.
Moral tug-of-war
You may feel guilty or conflicted when asking them to let go of things. Concentrate on items you genuinely know they don’t use or have no interest in.
Tips to Make Decluttering With Children Easier
- Give them small, age-appropriate choices (e.g., “Pick 5 toys to donate”)
- Use a timer or music to make it fun and less overwhelming
- Work on one category or area at a time
- Let them decorate or label storage boxes
- Read a decluttering-themed book together before starting ( A Squash and a Squeeze by Julia Donaldson is great for young children)
- Offer a reward after you’re done (ideally not a new toy, but a fun activity or edible treat)
Final Thoughts
Whether you declutter with your kids, without them, or a bit of both, the key is finding a rhythm that suits your family. Start small—a drawer or a cupboard at a time. Few children have the patience for a full day, so keep expectations realistic.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I offer in-person and virtual support—because no one has to tackle the toy mountain alone! Book a 30 minute call to find out more or email me.
If you’d like to learn more about decluttering & organising spaces see my blog Decluttering Your Home: A guide to Creating Functional & Stress-Free Spaces
